12 Tips for Successful Sport Parenting
 Parents
play a huge role in determining whether youth sports are a positive or
negative experience for their kids. Although there is no set formula for
success, there are some important guidelines for all parents to keep in
mind.
1. Set a good example of an active person.
What kids see has greater impact on them than what they hear. In other
words, kids are tuned into observational learning. They will do many
things their parents do, and physical activity is no exception. Active
parents produce active children. If children see their mom and dad
participating in and enjoying sports, then it’s going to be more natural
for them to want to pursue those activities. On the other hand, if
parents are couch potatoes….
2. Let kids participate in determining when they are ready for
sports.
Children who are forced into sports before they are ready usually have
bad experiences. When kids say they are interested, parents should start
looking seriously at it. By involving children in the decision-making
process, they feel a sense of ownership in the outcome. This creates a
greater sense of commitment: “I’m doing it because I want to do it, not
because I’m made to do it.”
3. Give priority to your child’s own interests.
Most kids develop a sense of their personal interests at an early age.
And although parents might prefer that their child be active in sports,
maybe the child would rather play the violin. Because of this, parents
should let their children have a say in determining what tune they march
to. Remember that youth sports are about what participation can do for
kids, and not what parents get out of it.
4. Don’t use sports as a baby-sitter.
Some parents erroneously believe their involvement merely consists of
getting their child signed up and driving them to and from games. But
that’s just part of it. Parents not only have a right but a
responsibility to oversee their child’s sport participation.
5. Emphasize the process of enjoyment rather than the product of
winning.
Research on young athletes’ motives for playing sports has consistently
shown that their primary objective is to have fun. Studies also indicate
that the main reason why youngsters drop out of sports is, “It isn’t fun
any more.” Simply stated, children want to play sports to have fun—and
when the fun disappears, so do they.
6. Emphasize striving to improve skills rather than comparing
oneself with others.
Physical development occurs at different rates in youngsters, and this
should be made clear to them. It is particularly important that children
whose skill is lagging not view this as a permanent condition. Parents
who praise self-improvement efforts can help their kids derive pleasure
from their progress over time. This creates many worthwhile experiences
in sports—even for athletes who never will be stars.
7. Give kids an opportunity for early success.
Properly structured learning situations are designed to ensure some
degree of initial success. And when children perform sport skills
correctly, they should be given ample amounts of verbal praise and/or
nonverbal forms of reinforcement—a smile, a pat on the back, a
high-five. In other words, catch the athlete doing something right. In
addition, liberally reinforce effort and achievement. Remember, whether
kids show it or not, the positive things you say and do stick with them.
8. Establish and maintain open lines of communication.
Tell your children what you expect—things like giving maximum effort,
listening to the coach, having fun—and ask what they are thinking. Make
it very clear you want to know how they feel about what’s happening in
practices and games. This type of two-way communication is essential.
9. Evaluate your child’s coach.
Parents should talk to the coach, regularly go to games and occasionally
attend practices. Additionally, they should ask themselves the following
questions:
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Are the young athletes treated with respect?
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Are they being taught?
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Are they given a chance to perform?
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Are they made to feel what they’re doing is a fun activity?
If not, it may be necessary to find another team for your child.
Unfortunately, some coaches don’t understand what youth sports should be
about, and the negative experience they provide can turn a kid off to
sports forever.
10. Think safety first.
What can be done to prevent sport injuries? The American College of
Sports Medicine offers the following guidelines:
-
Have a preseason medical checkup, which can detect medical problems
early and prevent new ones.
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Always warm up before playing and cool down afterward.
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Be in the proper physical condition before playing a sport.
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Have all the necessary protective equipment, and make sure it fits
correctly.
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Inspect playing surfaces and facilities prior to the game or
practice to make sure they are safe.
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Wear the appropriate clothing for the activity.
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Teach children the rules and the importance of following them.
11. Be alert for signs of pain or injury.
Kids might not say they are hurt because they believe it will disappoint
parents and/or coaches. Because of this, adults must look for the
symptoms of injuries common to the sport. Early detection is important.
At the first sign of pain, get the young athlete out of the game or
practice and get pain checked out. Additionally, an injured athlete
should not return to play until the symptoms of injury have completely
disappeared. Continued participation may make the injury worse and may
place the athlete at a high risk for another injury.
12. Don’t live your dreams through your children.
All parents identify with their children to some extent and thus want
them to do well. This is natural and healthy. But sometimes parents
over-identify, and the child becomes an extension of themselves. Parents
who are “winners” or “losers” through their children are experiencing
the frustrated-jock syndrome, which places extreme pressure on the
children. The young athlete must succeed, or the parent’s self-image is
threatened. To avoid this, don’t define your own self-worth in terms of
how good your children are.
Editor’s Note: Thank
you to Frank L. Smoll, Ph.D., for this article. Dr. Smoll is a sport
psychologist at the University of Washington and co-director of
Youth Enrichment in Sports. To see previews of his Mastery Approach
to Parenting in Sports and Mastery Approach to Coaching DVDs, visit www.y-e-sports.com.
Written by Minnesota Hockey · Filed Under Featured, Parenting
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Sooner
or later, every parent will have to face the perceived
shame and humiliation caused by a child who didn’t
“hustle” during a game. Most of the other parents will
be polite and say things like “Is your child feeling
okay?” or “Hope everything is okay at home.” Some
parents will suggest private lessons or maybe even other
teams to play on, but most will be quiet and avoid
direct eye contact. When this happens, parents can
either put on a brave face and laugh off the comments,
or just pretend to be on their cell phone while quickly
walking their child to the car. When confronted with too
much shame and humiliation, parents quit youth sports
and never return.